After calling Miami’s NCAA Tournament games over the radio the other weekend, I learned that “puck speak,” or hockey lingo, is terribly misunderstood. It’s a scientific fact that hockey players have the best hair, but did you know that the preferred term is “flow?” After some careful consideration, I’ve decided it’s time to give five of Hollywood’s leading men their “lettuce” laurels.
5. Owen Wilson
Apart from being an integral protagonist in just about every Frat Pack movie ever made, Wilson possesses a wicked mop that has women of all ages swooning. And on top of being a nice guy with solid salad, he’s played Rachel McAdams’ love interest… twice. C’mon man, that ain’t fair!
4. Brad Pitt
Some might consider it over-flow, but I think that Brad’s brownish/blonde hair works – when he washes it. Too often he goes for the grungy look, but as evidenced by the picture on the left, the man knows how to rock the aves and shoulder-length fur.
3. Gerard Butler
Not only does he kick ass in just about every movie he’s a part of, but the 43 year-old Scot has some Gaelic grass that makes men of my age jealous. Good for you, Gerard.
2. Robert Downey Jr.
RDJr. jumps to the number-two spot because of his versatility, not just in acting terms, but also because of the way he has mastered his mane – short, tussled, long, the man has it going on.
1. Bradley Cooper
The Silver Linings Playbook star is the undisputed rajah of raging flow. The luscious lettuce this dude has on his head is the envy of every Greek-affiliated gent across America. Also, did anyone notice that his career took off as soon as he grew his hair out? There’s a lesson to be learned here.
There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. If you want to make it in Hollywood, you’ve got to have the hair.