If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s rudeness. Okay, to be fair, I can’t stand a lot of other things, but when I’m trying to watch a movie you better damn well be quiet around me – it’s not hard to be polite and shut your mouth in public (you know how to act, your mamma raised you better!). Here’s a few simple tips to follow next time your etiquette is called into question.
1. QUIET PLEASE. It’s an obvious one, but you shouldn’t be speaking when the lights go out. Don’t be that guy that everyone hates because you have to give your commentary for every scene. I have eyes, I can see. If you announce how unbelievably lame that last line was, I’m going to take you outside and show you how unbelievably lame you are at ducking under my right hook.
2. Turn off the cell phone. I’m guilty of using it too, but silent mode isn’t good enough. That screen lights up wayyy to bright, and you know it. If you can’t sit through a two hour film without checking your phone, that’s sad. You wouldn’t check your phone on a dinner date, would you? Then have some class and don’t check your phone when a couple hundred people’s enjoyment is hinging on your behavior.
3. Don’t slurp your drink. Again, an obvious one, but one of the most easily broken. If you wouldn’t do it on a first date, don’t do it at the theater.
4. Don’t complain about how expensive things are. We all know movie theaters are a rip off, so do something about it – bring your own snacks. Is it immoral? Perhaps. But it’s also immoral to pay $11.50 for a piece of pizza, so I think that balances out.
5. ALWAYS give up your seat to the elderly/women/handicapped. You’ve got everything going for you, so don’t complain about having to move up to the front row. The guy in the wheelchair or the 80 year-old couple that’s going out for the first time in a month are hoping to enjoy this outing a lot more than you. Be generous, be kind, and be a good person: help others get as much as they can out of an experience you take for granted.
If you think of anything I missed, feel free to leave a comment! This list is much longer than just the five situations I’ve listed.